Saturday, January 2, 2010

Five Little Beeps

The whole world is one huge, hairy annoying beep these days and I 'm going to vent a little.... just as a treat for you in todays' post.

And you all know what I'm talking about here...

This morning was certainly a normal one with Dick getting out 'o bed about 5 am and me about 8. So, by the time I get up, he's had a couple of hours out in his lazy boy surfing the old web and sometime around seven forty five, he decides he's sleepy again, lays his chair back and goes soundly asleep. (Remember I just said when I wake up it's eight?)

Now, I don't know about you, but when I wake up, my whole being screams to first wash my face, second brush those pearly whites of mine and third DRINK COFFEE!
So before hitting the bathroom, I click on our awesome Cuisinart coffee maker, (which I pre-load the night before,) and by the time I'm out of the Loo, nectar of the gods is ready!

...And when the water is completely empty and the pot is full of nature's goodness, yes, you know what's coming, the damned thing goes BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!
Yes, Five, count them five (%&@#) times!

Dick flings his chair to the upright, grabs the arms of the unsuspecting chair and in a fashion quite similar to a bull in a Mexican fighting arena, flings his head from side to side searching for the location of the offending noise.
I am also alarmed because his eyes stare wide, I can tell his heart is pounding and I guess even after six years of owning the same pot, he's still alarmed by waking up to the sound of five beeps!

I want to wage war on this modern world we've created of warning beeps.

Since we did our renovation and bought all new appliances, this is the list of beeping things we have just inside our own house: Washer, dryer, coffee pot, frig when the door's open too long.... stove when it reaches temperature and then again when the food's cooked....

And then outside is a whole bunch of other stuff!

Absolutely, hands down, Dick's most hated is our coffee pot, but mine has to be the beep that the whole population of North America seems to find absolutely necessary is the one in your car. Don't you all hang your heads now... the one that honks your car's horn when you press that lock button on your key fob?

I find it so annoying and invasive to be sitting in my recliner, one of my neighbors come home and yep, you've got it, Honk! (We always wave!) You're walking across the mall's parking lot and all you can hear is honk! Honk! And then there's the people who think they have to double check everything and they press the remote oh, six, seven times?

Whenever I sold cars for a living I would take just two minutes in the presentation to show the new owners how the fob would actually turn off the horn and they would invariably all say: 'How would I know the the car had locked?"
(Eva, you can picture this, can't you?) And I would grit my teeth, smile my best car salesman smile and explain that they would still be able to hear the door locks go thunk when they used the button on the armrest.

I would also and I guess it was desperation really, plant the suggestion that on some older cars, the locks stick and just because the horn would blare it didn't mean the locks had activated! (And wasn't I always sorry to have suggested there might be a future problem with their new car!)

I would like to rid our world of the offending and I do mean offending beeping and honking! It's nothing but downright noise pollution and I want it stopped! Now!

Strap on your sandwich boards and hold your placards high and let's march on the nation's capital....

Oh wait! Something's on TV I want to watch...

"Dick! Make some coffee! Desperate Housewives are on!"

What are the beeps in your life? Let me know!


  1. I agree...those beeps are annoying!

    Another Desperate Housewives fan??? Me too!

  2. I've got very few beeps. I've got old appliances, so besides the microwave, they just cool and cook. I make my coffee one cup at a time -- except for company -- so that's quiet. My work phone does beep, but I generally keep it on silent and let it vibrate. I'm not big on extra noise.

  3. You know I had never thought of it like that but the key fob thing definitely eases my sanity for losing my vehicle.

    I admit, I am the most directionally challenged person there is, parking lots included...LOL

  4. I watch Desperate Housewives, too! I love those people, but they sure do kill off a lot of characters, don't they? My beep annoyance is when I want to fill the gas tank, if I don't take the keys out of the ignition the whole time I open the car door it beeps at me, so I have to take the keys out to fill the gas tank! Not just turn it off, but take them out of the ignition.

  5. Don't you love those beeps? When our kids were visiting, we taught our granddaughter the concept, and she'd shout 'coffee' with great glee!
    Her parents only drink tea!


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