Saturday, September 5, 2009

I was always told I had to start at the beginning.

Hello to all my readers and future readers!

        My first statement has to be; remember... we're all in this together! For every one of us that approaches middle life there comes many decisions and dreads as to what on earth are we going to do with ourselves? I might solve some of those questions for some. I might create some questions some have never asked before, but one thing is certain here:

        Dick and I are determined to create a life that WE want. Not somebody else's idea of retirement... but our own.

      Want to share the ride?

       My nickname is Lucy and Dick and I already have some of the hard stuff figured out. We live in a small fishing village on one of the Great Lakes in a big old vintage cottage with a killer view of the Lake and Harbor. We are in our mid 50's, (how did we get this old?) and never had much of a nest. (Now it's empty.) We have a Maine Coon mix cat; Suzie who was a rescue and 2 lazyboy chairs. We drive a fat ass Chevy one ton truck that's never pulled anything and a gray four door Buick called Rosemary that was my mom's. In the garage sits a big old white Harley that was our first joint purchase.  We have a little saved up and good solid jobs. We are healthier than a lot of our friends.  This winter we're going to Florida for a month. We are still in love. 
        We are two very lucky people.

         So what's this blog going to be about you ask?  

         Well, people keep asking us how we do it and to be brutally honest, we seem to have more fun and a fuller life than others. We have lesser jobs and are just folks so I am going to babble on now and again and share some of our stories and give some advice on how I see it. I hope something creative comes of this for other folks and if I touch just one life in a positive way, I'll be happier. 
How To Meet Your Life Partner
       So here I am, going to give you advice already! Dick and I met in our mid forties and by god, neither one of us wanted anything to do with a relationship.  The only thing I have to say about this is that if you are still living alone and run across somebody who catches your eye, do not let the opportunity pass. Say something! Catch their eye and make them say something! Let your chair fall over in front of them or drive in front of them. Ask for directions or to try on these gloves please because their hands look the same size as your brother / sister. Lie if you have to but never, ever let an opportunity pass to meet someone. 
     Always remember that at our age we all have gobs of baggage and for every one of his, you have one of yours to match. Tolerance and negotiation will become your new best friends, but remember; life is more fun with somebody to play with. Decisions come easier with another's support and really... isn't it difficult to brainstorm with yourself? 
      All I can suggest if you still have your original model of partner and you wish you didn't is: Is this a package that you can work with? Is he/ she still better than putting yourself out on a line to get a new partner? Sure, there's ones that drink themselves into a stupor every day or have just poor genetics and I'm all for disposing of the ones that have a tendency to tune up their spouse just for the fun of it. But if your relationship has just gone a little south and you've got lazy with each other then that's stuff you can fix! 
      And to have a good retirement, you'd better get it done before you're stuck in the house together every hour of every day! Get medical help. Get some new clothes. Take care or your personal grooming and pleeaaze.. fix your teeth. If you clean up your own backyard, your partner should start to tag along with you. 
     Go for walks and talk. Yes, about what you dream about and where you want to head. One of the things that I believe has made us so different is that we have a business meeting every six months or so and draw up a business plan for our lives.  We include short term goals, (what we want to get done in six months,) and long term goals. ( Where we want to live in a year or two years. We want a new car in what year?) Not only does it help your finances, but gives you common ground and a connection to each other.  Ask your partner to help you pick out an outfit or just a new pair of those gloves. It all leads up to something, right? 
         My guy is a good one and I'm damned lucky, but we work at it!  

So! It's Saturday afternoon and we're going to the stock car races at South Buxton tonight. (My idea.) I can hardly wait! It's this little dirt D track in Southern Ontario and they really get it on! We'll stop at a grocery store on the way and buy some food to take in 'cause neither one of  us can eat hotdogs or fries anymore.  It'll still be a blast!

So, 'til next time and that won't be far away; It's been great chatting and thanks for coming into my life. 

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